I went to where my service was needed
not unto those who were sufficiently able
and not to those who had made up their minds
I came to the downtrodden
to those rejected
who, if anyone else, would be tied to public opinion
and made subject to manipulations
of whether love was deserved
I came to those
who moved toward growth
verses protection
I come for the fearless in loving
for the energies spent
in accepting
what is
Today I needed something to make me laugh, so my youngest son and I watched “The Nutty Professor” starring Eddie Murphy. I had seen it years ago, but my son hadn’t, so we sat and watched it together.
I remembered the character of Sherman Klump, the overweight professor, as being a really sweet person. He carried around this extra weight that made people treat him differently. Even though he was predisposed to having a difficult time with weight, everyone judged him based on it. He became desperate enough to take an untested potion to try to become what people would judge to be a better person.
It reminded me of people in my life who are important to me, who get judged every day for being who they are. Maybe some of these people tried to be like Buddy Love and to fit into social norms better. Buddy Love wasn’t who they were, but it was what everyone expected and liked better. One could even say that Buddy Love was less of a sinner in the public eye because he didn’t seem to show signs of overeating or what the Bible calls gluttony. But Sherman knew he wasn’t Buddy, and Buddy wasn’t really a very nice or happy person.
I hope to convey the idea of thinking twice before judging people based on how they appear outwardly, rather than who they truly are on the inside. Sherman had lots of gifts to give, gifts of thoughtfulness and kindness. I see those gifts in the Shermans that I know, those loved ones who are struggling not only with weight issues, but depression, or negative social reactions to those who are transgender or of a different sexual orientation. While society still may prefer something closer to Buddy Love, my love is for the Shermans of this world. I’m loving them for who they are and into whatever wholeness they can have with how they need to be, in order to be themselves.
Last night I had a dream
but it wasn’t MLK’s kind
instead it was of a brother and I
so estranged
and I’m sitting beside him
telling him about my grandson and his violin bow
and he suddenly asks, “Who are you talking to?”
I read it as being
his dismissal of me
and by the end of the story
playing out in my mind
I am sitting beside him
on the floor, up to his knees
small, sad, mistaken
that he would ever want to know
anything from me
about our one true connection
– music
I played it back in my mind, today
and when he asked me,
“Who are you talking to?”
I didn’t flinch.
I looked him right in his eyes and told him,
“I’m talking to the Light of the World
that resides in you,
that resides in all you’ve turned against in my family
I’m talking to God
and I’m trusting in Him,
that He’s talking to you.”
Peace is something I can choose and there is no separation in the body. The separate self wants to make it about them or about me. It is about us, connection that needs no longing or clinging. If I see separation, it is based on the old way of being. The practice of living out peace is too important for the weakness of humanity to interrupt it. The humaneness of humanity is to precious, and precludes any rejection of humanity. The lack of humility that causes rejection is a lack of connection. I reject the rejection of people as who they appear to be. I embrace who they will be. They both like and hate and also are ambivalent to me, and I accept all things. I focus in.
I negate the negative, cross it out, toss it out, and go back forgivingly toward the focus again, for the brain will get trained in opening the promised pathways. These are the lessons I thought I learned before the home world got rocked. I am thinking now that I am learning it, until the next new transaction occurs that transforms me from the me who knows to the me who knows more.
For those of you who check on how I am doing based on my poetry, etc….
Since last Wednesday, I have been experiencing a wonderful healing in my life. Over the weekend, some of my most pervasive fears were put to rest. I found out people love me for me, not for whether my family is society’s idea of perfect, whether I have problems, or whether I handle everything the way someone thinks it should be. I don’t know what the future holds, or if those things will change. But one thing I do know is this: When I love God with all my heart and allow the Almighty to love me back in the same way, my awareness of that love is with me always. The bitterness in me is dying, and the desire to want to love everyone in the most platonic but rich way is being born in me. This is the born-again moment, moment by moment in my life. This is how I know that it is not the experiences of my life that matter, but how I meet them, and with what part of myself I give service to them.
I am grateful for those who agree with me, for those who disagree with me, and for everyone whose lives (thank God) are too busy to be concerned about my rights or wrongs. That the big wheel keeps turning is assured, as too is the comfort in knowing that God holds me gently in the palm of His hand.
I separate you from your action
I watch you as you draw the line
I see you in your future true self
I see your light and watch it shine
And you’re the stone that was rejected
not that which judges me today
So carry on and do your own thing
Go be at peace, now fly away
(Photography – Michael Collett)
Loving Paige is easy
What’s difficult is how
I feel when old thought habits
Beg me to disavow
Loving Paige is easy
She’s responsible and kind
She’s far outpaced her former self
Who suffered from behind
I want to be that pillar
The strength that gives support
But Paige is miles ahead of me
Quite the resourceful sort
Loving Paige is easy
Its the mirror I avoid
But knowing her is leaving me
Feeling overjoyed.
Where do you go
when the world’s upside down
when your very best friends
look upon you and frown
Who do you seek
when the going gets blue
who can you trust
who will always be true
Jesus is Who
He’s the one that makes new
He’ll never desert you
Sitting righteous in pew
He’ll always love hue
though your virtues are few
He’ll be your glory
when your shine becomes goo
He’ll battle old Saul
for the right for your soul
It’s Jesus who loves you
so roll, baby, roll.
Not content
To turn away from love
I feel your judgment seeping
Through my veins
You call it sustenance
But now I’ve changed
The only way I can keep my love alive
Is in knowing
This was prearranged
I am pro for the life
That to others would be estranged
I will not have a devilish death
dealt deftly
From those of a superior mind
Deranged
Sophia's Voice 